As I write, Penny is either: asleep in her bed, or asleep on the floor of her room. She is most likely asleep because the monitor has been quiet for an hour or so. As of three hours ago I joined the ranks of all those before me who have guided their toddler from the security of a crib to a bed that gives them freedom, which they might not have the capacity to understand. To me this is a fairly big deal...for a couple of reasons: 1. It highlights the different parenting philosophies I have with my husband (and my insecurities as a mom). 2. It forces me to look at the not-so-easy parts of helping my daughter grow up, and even just the fact that she is growing up (which I used to think I was so cool with, but maybe that's not entirely true). The stars have aligned to make this change necessary. We didn't expect Matt to get a job extension during the month that I have a lifting restriction, so with him gone at Penny's bedtime our options are fairly limited. Putting her in a toddler bed is happening sooner than I would have preferred, but not so much sooner. I imagined we would be able to do it when she turned 2, and we're just a couple of months shy of that milestone. I said, "this seems like the best option for us right now, so let's try it. We'll see what Penny does." Matt disagreed with my desire to conduct this child development experiment on our daughter. And Penny sat in her three sided crib (aka daybed) and she whimpered, "Help". I sit with her, next to her bed. I explain that it's bedtime. I sing her a song. I bring her the blue canary night light. It all breaks my heart. She doesn't understand this change. Matt would want to protect her from this fear that she has of the unknown...and I can't help but feel that he would do a better job at it. Whenever I hand Penny a yogurt and spoon and walk away, Matt cringes. He wants to guide her and try to avoid the impending mess. I stand firm thinking, "she's got to learn somehow", or "what's the harm"? But this is different, because this is not something that can be cleaned up with a wash cloth. This is Penny expressing her confusion and sadness in true toddler fashion. She wants the familiar. It is not fun for her to have things shaken up like this. So now I am going to climb the stairs and peek into her room to find out where she landed. I can only hope that her dreams are peaceful. If it's the floor that she's sleeping on, I will not be able to pick her up to put her into her bed. That's hard and frustrating. I suppose I just need to be thankful, because I know that Matt will find her when he gets home at a 4am and he will pick her up and put her back in bed if he needs to. Maybe he won't even need to. We'll see. *Update: Penny slept all night in her bed, and woke in the morning just fine. She also had a successful naptime today in her bed, with only a short outburst to start things off. Again, she wanted "help". I can only assume that she wanted help putting things back to normal. | 
